There's no doubt that
you will feel stressed at some time during the
planning of your wedding.
The symptoms can be varied. It is not unusual
for couples to feel tense, nervous, excited
or even tearful during the planning of their
wedding. These are quite obvious signs of stress,
but there are some more subtle ones that can
creep up without you really noticing. Many brides
find that they are unable to concentrate at
work; they are unable to sleep as easily as
they once used to; they snap at their fiancé
or parents, or little things that were once
easy to cope with are now insurmountable.
Brides often tend to believe that they are the
only ones taking their wedding seriously and
that their husbands-to-be don't really care
what happens. While there may be some truth
in this, stress plays a big part in these assumptions,
often causing disagreements and friction where
none need occur.
The problem with stress is that it clouds the
judgement, and those planning a wedding need
their wits about them to ensure they are functioning
effectively. It would also be a pity for couples
looking back on the time they spent planning
their wedding to remember nothing more than
arguments and tension. Don't let this be your
fate! Take a few moments to read our suggestions
for dealing with stress. Choose one or two that
appeal and do them! There is no need for planning
your wedding to become a living nightmare, take
the time to relax and enjoy the experience.
Learn A New Skill Together
Spend time together doing something other than
discussing and planning your wedding. Learn
a new skill together, or practise an old one
that's been neglected. Perhaps you could learn
something that will help you both on your honeymoon;
scuba diving, a new language or photography.
Focus On Your Relationship
Plan the finer details of your honeymoon or
other element of your lives together after the
wedding. This will help you focus on your relationship
as a continuous thing and not heading towards
one ultimate day. Learn to appreciate the things
your partner enjoys that you know little about.
If you find out more about these interests now,
they will be easier to tolerate once you are
married.
Do Something You Wouldn't Normally Do
If your budget stretches to a bungee jump, or
potholing, this will help relieve the tension
of family feuds and colour schemes. If your
wedding expenditure gets in the way of such
extravagance, try hill, swimming or even ballroom
dancing. Try a few visits to the gym if this
isn't in your normal routine. You will see the
benefits of looking and feeling better as well
as losing the stress!
Do Your Own Thing
Make sure you arrange to spend some time apart.
Plan to spend time with friends away from each
other, and refuse to discuss the wedding (much!)
This way, when you return to your partner you
will feel refreshed and ready to start the next
stage of organising.
Get Enough Sleep
Make sure you get the right number of hours
for you. Everyone needs different amounts of
sleep, but no one functions properly on too
little. Don't eat too close to bedtime, and
especially avoid rich, hard to digest foods.
As a rule, avoid alcohol or tea and coffee near
bedtime, as they are stimulants that will keep
you awake. Try herbal teas or milk-based drinks,
or even water, as it will help clear the complexion
for your big day. Have a relaxing bath before
you go to bed, or even better, persuade someone
to give you a massage with relaxing oils such
as lavender, rose or sandalwood.
Don't panic if you can't sleep immediately your
head hits the pillow - read something not wedding
related or listen to some music to help your
mind relax as well as your body. If you wake
up in the middle of the night feeling wide awake,
don't fight it. Spend as long as you can trying
to keep your eyes open, this can help to convince
you that you'd rather go to sleep! If this doesn't
work, try getting up and doing a simple task
that will help clear your head.
Relax Professionally
There are lots of people out there whose job
it is to help you feel relaxed. Anything from
aromatherapy, massage and acupuncture to self
relaxation tapes. You could book into a health
farm, book a session with a beauty therapist
or plan a night in with some girlfriends. Let
those trained in relaxation help you feel better,
and prepared to organise the wedding of the
century!
Delegate
If you are finding it all a bit too much, plan
to delegate tasks. Just thinking about the people
who could cope with certain jobs will help them
appear easier to cope with. Think how these
people would deal with the things that you are
struggling with, and try their solutions. If
you don't know how they would cope, ask them!
They may even offer to take on the problem for
you.
Communicate
Tell your partner about the concerns that you
have. Two heads are often better than one, and
you may find solutions that you wouldn't have
thought of alone.
Set a certain amount of time to discuss problems
that your wedding is causing you both, then
change the subject and discuss other matters,
such as the things you are looking forward to
in married life, or plans and aspirations for
the future. This will help to shift the balance
of importance from the wedding itself to the
meaning it has in your lives.
Above all, try to remember that no matter how
stressed you feel, no matter how relatives are
getting in the way or if things aren't going
to plan, you both deserve to have the best day
of your lives, and that you will be making a
lifelong commitment to each other. Most of all,
take a few deep breaths and remember why you
decided to get married in the first place!
